Disappointing DC Food Truck a Really Big Hit

A new food vendor generating quite a lot of buzz is the Pete’s Pita van now operating in the DC metro area. Pete’s is developing quite a following, not so much for the excellence of its food, but for its sub-par offerings. Indeed here are a few not-so-rave reviews from local publications:

“A tour de force of mediocrity.” - Washington Post

“I’d ask for my money back but I have to run to the men’s room.” - City Paper

“The soggy tomatoes cleverly masked the three-day-old lettuce and…wait, why am I writing about this? That was the worst food I have ever had from a food truck. I wouldn’t wish this eating experience on a malnourished indigent family. Pete’s sucks!” - Washingtonian Magazine

“That was the shizzle!” - Street Sense

The food truck epidemic is sweeping across the city here in DC, as with the rest of the country. It seems like every day there is something new being offered from the side window of an old truck – popsicles, Indian food, tamales, Asian fusion, and the ever-present cupcake trucks. Up to this point, most of the new food trucks have delivered quality, low-cost cuisine to the public.

The man behind the mundane cuisine is area man Freddy Gonzalez. Gonzalez worked as a construction foreman in his previously life, a life that gave him a good view of the food truck industry from the other side of the counter.

“I’ve been eating from food trucks most of my life, and most of the food has been pretty terrible,” says Gonzalez. “When I saw all these trucks showing up to the scene with exquisite food offerings, I knew there was an opportunity there to bring to the masses a truly crappy option at a truly low, but still disappointing price.”
He adds that they would one day like to be viewed as the Jerry’s of food trucks.

Customers seem to agree they are well on their way. When interviewed following her meal, customer Nicole James critiqued “I just threw up a little in my mouth, which tastes delicious relative to my Pete’s pita.”

Friend Todd James adds, “Yeah, I agree.” A very weak-ass, disappointing quote from a very disappointed food truck foodie.